‘I can’t believe I did it’ - those were my exact thoughts as this photo was being taken. Little did I know that the birth of my water baby was the birth of a whole new drive for me. I want every single woman to say to themselves ‘I can’t believe I did it’, too. Following my first birth which took place in hospital, I had lost faith in myself that I could possibly experience something as magical as this. My first birth felt out of control, I felt I could never catch up with body, that it was working faster than I could mentally accept. I didn’t know what to do, how to feel, what to say, and subsequently ended up accepting a pain relief I hated, and coming around wired up to numerous bleeping machines and blinding bright lights. Shortly after this I found my legs in stirrups while I writhed around on my back, feeling angry and confused while I pushed with fury into my bum to birth my son. It wasn’t magical, it didn’t feel great. In fact I was pretty pissed off.
The process of accepting this experience came with learning why it happened this way. And while there may have been more than one occasion where a caregiver could have worked with me better, ultimately it was MY voice and my education that could have changed that birth for the better. We are the experts in our births, and since time began we have had both the physical and mental primal instincts to birth our babies. This is evolution, this is nature, and beneath the fears and false beliefs that we can’t do this, we must - MUST - learn to believe that in fact, we can. It is your own education and self belief that will make the difference to this hugely impactful life experience. I worked so hard on myself in the lead up to this moment 👆and I don’t regret one moment of breathing practise, yoga practise, or printed affirmations around my house. I don’t think it was over the top to prioritise my birth prep, or that I was expecting too much of myself. It was all worth it. Preparing for this magic was never, ever a waste of time. And I still can’t believe I did it